	Week 1	Week 2	Week 3	Week 4	Week 5	Week 6
Creators live	0	2	4	6	8	10
Creator videos / week	0	14	28	42	56	70
Landing pages live	1	3	5	7	8	9
New ads / week	12	12	12–20	12–20	20	20
Unique experiments	2	3	4	5	6	6

BUNDLE	PRICE	WAS	REVIEWS
Triple Threat Set	$28.03	$29.50	5,980
Bar Soap 6-Pack	$36.00	$42.00	1,403
Bar Soap 9-Pack	$54.00	$63.00	691
Deodorant & Soap Set	$58.00	$68.00	78
Invisible Glide 4-Pack	$44.00	$52.00	792

GRIT	TRY	WHAT’S IN IT
Zero	Bay Rum	Coconut oil
Light	Coconut Castaway	Coconut shreds
Medium	Wood Barrel Bourbon	Jimmy Red corn & sand
Heavy	Pine Tar	Oatmeal & sand
Heavy	Cold Brew Cleanse	Coffee grounds

Every ad is shown in the feed with its landing page. Switch the size:

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Exhibit 01

What’s in the bar, and what isn’t.

EXHIBIT · BAR SOAPWOOD BARREL BOURBON
INJIMMY RED CORN & SANDCOLD PROCESS98%+ NATURAL ORIGIN (ISO 16128)OUTSYNTHETICS · FILLERS · GUESSING
EVERY INGREDIENT LISTED ON THE PRODUCT PAGE
drsquatch.com/pages/natural-ingredients and the box, 28 Sept 2026.

drsquatch.comBar Soap · 3 bars, $21Shop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/products/bar-soapEvidence-exhibit layout. Their own natural-origin wording, never “100% natural.”

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Lifestyle 03

Smell like a million bucks.

drsquatch.comBest sellersShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/collections/best-sellersTheir own lifestyle photo with the line from the IShowSpeed campaign.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Remake 05 · UGC

“First shower with a real bar of soap.” A creator’s version of the partner ad already running.

rating my new soap by smell alone0:00 box sniff test · 0:04 “this one smells like apples” · 0:10 grit check on the hand · 0:20 ranking all three

drsquatch.comOceanside OrchardShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/collections/bar-soapsRemake of the @king_dylan_01 #drsquatchpartner ad (running since 11 Sept) as a sniff-test ranking. The product scene stands in for the creator.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Choice 06

Three grits. Pick yours.

Zero gritSpiked Cider

Medium gritWood Barrel Bourbon

Heavy gritGrand Canyon Grit

drsquatch.comShop bar soapShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/collections/bar-soapsChoice architecture by grit, straight from the boxes.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Review 08

“Stocked up once. Haven’t thought about soap in months.”

“Stocked up once. Haven’t thought about soap in months. The dopp kit is legit.”QUOTED IN THEIR RUNNING AD, SINCE 1 JUL 2026

drsquatch.comDeodorant & Soap Set · $58Shop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/collections/best-sellersA new split layout of their dopp-kit ad’s quote. Used exactly as their ad runs it.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Bumper 09 · 0:06

Wash. Stick. Spray.

0:00 WASH

0:02 STICK

0:04 SPRAY

drsquatch.comDeodorant & Soap SetShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.comSix-second bumper across soap, deodorant and cologne.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Drop 10

Roll for initiative. In the shower.

LIMITED EDITION · DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

drsquatch.comMimic Bricc 3-PackShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.comCollab drop as the hook. The limited run does the urgency; no countdown invented.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Meme 11 · Drake

Showers, sorted.

A 3-in-1 that smells like a gas station

A bar that smells like amber, sandalwood and bourbon

drsquatch.comWood Barrel BourbonShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/products/bar-soapThe scent upgrade in one second. No competitor named. Third-party meme template: clear the rights before running it as paid.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Meme 12 · Surprised Pikachu

Every morning, the same surprise.

leaves his Wood Barrel Bourbon in the shower
his roommate’s using it now

drsquatch.comBar Soap 9-Pack · $54Shop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/collections/best-sellersRelatable joke that sells the multipack. No claim. Third-party meme template: clear the rights before running it as paid.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Meme 13 · Starter pack

The Squatch Nation starter pack.

The Squatch Nation starter pack

A soap named after a drink

A dopp kit he got free

A wrestler on his soap box

Cologne that smells like a hike

drsquatch.comBest sellersShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.com/collections/best-sellersStarter-pack grid from their own photos, so no template rights are needed. “Squatch Nation” is their own term.

Dr. SquatchSponsored · Meme 15 · Always Has Been

Wait, the Bigfoot soap is that big?

“Wait, the Bigfoot soap has 8% of US bar soap?”“Over 8%, actually.”

drsquatch.comBest sellersShop now

Lands on → drsquatch.comThe share figure is from coverage of the Unilever deal. Third-party meme template: clear the rights before running it as paid.

Concepts only, not live ads. Photography © Dr. Squatch, from drsquatch.com; partner marks © their owners. Scripts are concepts. Four of the thirteen are meme formats. The third-party templates (Drake, Pikachu, Always Has Been) need their rights cleared before running as paid. Natural-origin wording is used only as Dr. Squatch states it. Figures from drsquatch.com, the Meta Ad Library and cited press, 28 Sept 2026.

DISTURBANCE	LIKELIHOOD	IMPACT	OWNER	GATE (PROPOSED)
Offer dependence (50%+ off, free gifts)	High	High	Dr. Squatch	Every new ad tested at full price and at promo, reported apart
Fatigue on the bundle hooks	High	High	Danilo	Best ad CPA +20% over 7 days → rotate
Q4 auction costs	High	High	Danilo	CPM +30% vs Sept → hold tests, scale only winners
Retail cannibalization (Walmart, Target)	High	Med	Dr. Squatch	Holdout region agreed in week one
Unilever brand and claim review	Med	High	Dr. Squatch legal	Only approved claim-library lines run
Gift-with-purchase stock-outs	Med	Med	Dr. Squatch	No paid traffic to an offer that can’t ship
Landing page leak	Med	Med	Danilo	Concept page must beat bundle page CVR at equal traffic

LINE	VALUE	STATUS
First order value	$36	Proxy: Bar Soap 6-Pack price
Gross margin	65%	ASSUMED, replace in week one
Refund rate, first orders	3%	ASSUMED, replace in week one
Cost of free gifts	$0 here	ASSUMED; subtract yours in week one
12-month repeat orders	1.5 per customer	ASSUMED, replace in week one

WEEK	NEW ADS LIVE	TEST BUDGET / AD (PROPOSED)	CREATORS POSTING	YOUR CAC TARGET
1	5	$300	0	Set with you, day one
2	6	$300	2	Set with you, day one
3	8	$300	5	Set with you, day one
4	8	$300	5	Set with you, day one
5	8	$400	7	Set with you, day one
6	8	$400	7	Set with you, day one

WEEK	NEW ADS × BUDGET (PROPOSED)	WEEKLY TEST SPEND	SHARE OF A $25K WEEK (ASSUMED)
1	5 × $300	$1,500	6%
2	6 × $300	$1,800	7%
3	8 × $300	$2,400	10%
4	8 × $300	$2,400	10%
5	8 × $400	$3,200	13%
6	8 × $400	$3,200	13%

CONCEPTS TESTED / MONTH	HIT RATE (ASSUMED)	NEW WINNERS / MONTH	SPEND EACH WINNER HOLDS (ASSUMED)	ADDED SPEND AT TARGET CAC
10	10%	1	$300 / day	$9,000 / month
20	10%	2	$300 / day	$18,000 / month
32	10%	3.2	$300 / day	$28,800 / month
40	10%	4	$300 / day	$36,000 / month

CHANNEL	OPEN WHEN (PROPOSED)	WHY WAIT
TikTok (paid)	Meta CAC holds for 30 days at 1.5× spend	Same creative supply problem
Retail media (Walmart)	Holdout shows Meta lift in Walmart regions	Otherwise it pays twice for one customer
YouTube	A creator video beats the best Meta ad at equal spend	Needs a proven script first
Jukebox (sister brand)	Not in scope	A separate brand with its own launch

CAC (SCENARIO)	FIRST-ORDER MARGIN	12-MONTH MARGIN	LEFT AFTER CAC	PAYBACK
$25	$22.70	$57.80	$32.80	First order
$40	$22.70	$57.80	$17.80	Second order
$55	$22.70	$57.80	$2.80	Month 12, barely
$60	$22.70	$57.80	−$2.20	Never: stop

DAY	KEEP GOING IF (PROPOSED)	STOP OR CHANGE IF
14	At least 1 new ad is holding spend at target CAC	No new ad beats the control at equal spend
30	2+ new winners, one at a lighter discount; creator cost per 1,000 views $5 or better	Neither, so everything stops and nothing renews
60	Winners hold 14 days, roster at 7	CAC up more than 10% at the higher spend
90	Spend up at the same CAC, roster at 10	Second orders need a deeper discount than the first

PIECE	EXISTS TODAY	MISSING	FORCED ORDER
Creative	Hundreds of versions, strong bundle hooks	Reasons to buy that aren’t the price	1st
Creators	#drsquatchpartner ads, celebrity deals	A roster with its own scripts	2nd
Landing pages	Bundle and collection pages	Concept pages at full price	3rd
Reporting	Ad Library view only (from outside)	Per-ad CAC, discount-level cohorts	Week 1

FIGURE	SOURCE	TYPE
~760 active results; top-10 hooks; Library IDs	Meta Ad Library, 28 Sept 2026	Fact
Bar Soap 3 for $21 · 6-Pack $36 · 9-Pack $54 · Deo 4-Pack $44	drsquatch.com	Fact
4.6 from 51,688 reviews (Bar Soap)	drsquatch.com/products/bar-soap	Fact
100,000+ reviews site-wide	drsquatch.com homepage	Brand claim
1,600+ Walmart stores	PR Newswire	Fact
Unilever acquisition, $1.5B	Unilever press release, 23 June 2025	Fact
65% margin · 3% refunds · 1.5 repeats · 10% hit rate	Placeholders	Assumed
5→10 creators · $5,500 / $15,000 caps	Danilo	Proposed
100M+ organic views a month (Tabs)	Danilo’s track record	As stated

TOPIC	THIS PLAN	BENCHMARK
Volume for the money	7 videos a week for $500–1,500	About 2 a day (14 a week) for $500–1,000. SUSH: 3 a week for $500.
Bonus	2 thresholds: 100K and 1M views	A ladder at 5K, 20K, 50K, 100K, 250K, 500K, 1M and 10M views
Roster size	5 → 10 creators by day 90	16–20+ ambassadors (CoupleJoy, Cheaterbuster)
Accounts	Dedicated Dr. Squatch accounts	Dedicated brand-named accounts

#	CREATOR	BAND	POSTS	MEDIAN	BEST	CPM	BONUS	STATUS
1	Creator 01	US · prem	28	2.4K	3.1M	$0.40	$700	Keep
2	Creator 02	US · std	28	1.8K	1.2M	$0.75	$50	Keep
3	Creator 03	Intl · cam	27	1.2K	640K	$0.95	—	Keep
4	Creator 04	Intl · faceless	40	900	31K	$1.30	—	Watch
5	Creator 05	US · std	21	310	4.2K	$4.10	—	Replace

Review: Dr. Squatch vs gold

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Rebuild request

Application — Growth

Who I am

What I built

What I’d do here

Month one

Smell like a million bucks.

Pick a scent. Pick a grit.

Amber. Sandalwood. Oaked bourbon.

Every scent starts with something real.

Aluminum free. 24-hour odor protection.

Same scents, in a bottle.

Woodland Pine. Rugged, bold, masculine.

Stock up once.

Collabs you can shower with.

From a four-person startup in Venice Beach.

No synthetics, no fillers, no guessing.

Online, and in 1,600+ Walmart stores.

Not sure how much grit?

Frequently asked questions.

Scale spend. Hold CAC.

Contents

One number to protect. Seven ways it breaks. Three moves.

Only variety absorbs variety.

Seven disturbances, scored, owned, gated by a number.

The ceiling. Five lines, with the assumed ones labelled.

The test ramp. The blanks are yours to fill on day one.

Whatever your CAC is, creative volume is what moves it.

Where the next $100,000 goes.

What has to be true before a channel opens.

Payback is the real constraint, not CAC.

What this covers, and what it deliberately doesn’t.

Gates, written before spend, so stopping isn’t a negotiation.

What exists, what’s missing, and the order that’s forced.

Every number, and where it came from.

Month one is where it starts.

Ten creators. Posting every day.

Contents

The whole program on one table

I have built this engine before

What the content actually looked like

What makes a creator program perform

What a roster actually ships

Fourteen videos we’d remake

The part that makes this hard, handled first

How we find and test them

Twenty creators we’d recruit first

The model in one screen

Upside only where it earns it

Will it pay back?

We start with five, then ten

What you get every Monday